Category Archives: A Writer’s Musings

Wren Michaels and Her Sexy Stories!

March 13, 2015 Marissa Campbell Leave a comment

If you missed the cover reveal party for AVELYNN, don’t despair, I’m going to be posting all the wonderful author interviews here for your reading pleasure!

Sitting down with Wren Micheals …

I’d like to officially welcome to the party our next guest author, Wren Michaels!

Wren Michaels hails from the frozen tundra of Wisconsin where beer and cheese are their own food groups. But a cowboy swept her off her feet and carried her away below the Mason-Dixon line, where she promptly lost all tolerance for snow and cold. They decided they’d make beautiful babies together and they got it right on the first try. Now Wren lives happily ever after in the real world and in the worlds of her making, where she creates book boyfriends for the masses to crave.

Wren Michaels Thanks for having me, Marissa.

A.b. Funkhauser Tell us about the boyfriends…

Marissa Campbell Tell us a little about your steamy, sexy books!

Margaret Madigan Hi! *waves*

Wren Michaels They’re all scrumptious and waiting to take you on a trip to seductive town.

A.b. Funkhauser Are they shaped by muse(s)?

Marissa Campbell Here’s a little about Wren’s books:

UNBEARABLE: Rose Red will stop at nothing to protect her sister, Snow White, from suffering the same fate as their mother. She vows to kill Hestor, the evil dwarf sorcerer responsible for her death. But a twist of fate lands her on the bottom of a riverbed, and her life in the hands of a mysterious stranger.

Marcus is a beast of a man. He is a bear by day, man by night, thanks to a curse from the evil Hestor. When he rescues Rose from an icy grave, he unleashes the real animal. Falling for her is dangerous enough, as he must protect the secret of his curse. But she may just be the key to getting his kingdom back, as she breaks one spell and puts him under another.

Wren Michaels Let’s see, Unbearable has Marcus, my Irish Prince who’s cursed by an evil sorcerer to live as a bear by day and man by night. So he’s an alpha with some animalistic tendencies.

Marissa Campbell Or perhaps you might like this book by Wren Michaels…

UNIFORM FETISH ANTHOLOGY – Welcome Home, Jason

Four years ago Katy said goodbye to her brother Roger and his best friend, Jason, as they deployed for the Middle East. Two weeks ago they both came back. Only one of them was alive.

After Roger’s funeral, Katy turns to Jason for comfort. She’s been in love with him since she was eight years old, but knew he never saw her as anything other than Roger’s little sister. Overwhelmed with grief, she pleads with Jason to help her drown her pain, convincing him to sleep with her to help her escape for a while. But deep in her heart the real reason is because he came back alive, and her love for him reignites.

Jason fights his desires, as he has for fifteen years since he fell in love with his best friend’s sister. He pushed his own feelings aside out of respect for Roger. But when Katy’s grief is too much, he’ll do anything to help her ease the pain.

As they share in each other’s pain and grief, they also ignite a love both of them have forced back for years.

A.b. Funkhauser Who do you “see” when you think of Marcus?

Wren Michaels Welcome Home, Jason has of course Jason, my marine hero. Man in uniform, need I say more?

A.b. Funkhauser The uniform announces the man.

Monique Goodness…a man with bear-like qualities. Who wouldn’t want to read about that?

Dawna Yay!

Wren Michaels My muses are fueled by pics of Ian Somerhalder and coffee so anything is possible.

A.b. Funkhauser Wide open. I like that.

Marissa Campbell What drew you to Red Rose your heroine?

Wren Michaels I see a man who is used to being in control and now forced to live in hiding which is out of his control, so he’s fighting with himself on a daily basis. It makes him complex and in need of help and Rose is his sanctuary.

A.b. Funkhauser She saves him?

Wren Michaels Sorry for typos, I’m driving home from Austin so I won’t be fast at responses as I’m limited to my smart phone

A.b. Funkhauser Be safe.

Marissa Campbell I was just going to thank you for doing this from your phone! xo

Marissa Campbell I think she has a hunky driver.

A.b. Funkhauser In that case, practice SAFE. lol

A.b. Funkhauser And keep those hands on the wheel.

Wren Michaels Well I wanted to do a different fairytale, everyone does Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast, so I wanted to find a little different story to take on. I also tend to write strong female characters. I don’t like damsels in distress, I like damsels that cause distress.

Marissa Campbell I love that! Damsels that cause distress!

Wren Michaels Hubby is driving so I can play. Lol

Wren Michaels Darn auto correct!

Monique I like to read books that feature empowering women. We should all cause distress. I imagine your novels are How to Books.

A.b. Funkhauser Distressing ladies really got going in the 80s with Dynasty and Dallas. Alexis Carrington Colby was my hero. We need women to look up to.

Alison Sounds juicy. A new spin on a classic. Very cool.

Wren Michaels I’m a huge Joss Whedon fan. He’s known for kickass heroines. So I tend to channel him when I write.

A.b. Funkhauser That’s a great muse to have!

Nicki U have got my interest.

Margaret Madigan Whedon’s man enough not to be threatened by women. I like that.

Wren Michaels I have several stories where my damsels do the saving. It’s all about turning the tables.

Monique I, too, am a Joss Whedon fan (currently watching Season 6 of Buffy for the umpteenth time).

A.b. Funkhauser You are levelling the playing field. I could see the male characters reacting badly to this. How does the Bear first react to her overtures?

Wren Michaels Yes, Whedon is very pro woman. Look at Zoe from Firefly, Kaylee is a mechanic, Buffy kicked much ass. Need I say more?

A.b. Funkhauser And with Buffy, he hooked me into something that I thought I wouldn’t watch. You might have me reading bed time stories again Wren Michaels. Thank you.

Wren Michaels Marcus is shocked, but her fire, love for her family and provocative side entice him rather than threaten him.

A.b. Funkhauser Are your men emotional?

Monique I am definitely going book shopping this week.

Wren Michaels Jason, my marine is. He’s just lost his best friend at war, and he comes home to the love of his life. In a unique spin, my heroine, Katy makes the move on him and ends up releasing a bottle of emotions he has.

Marissa Campbell Red is strong and provocative! What drew you to writing romance and erotica?

Wren Michaels Katy ends up celebrating Jason being alive since she just buried her brother.

Heather I love fairy-tale-inspired fiction. You had me at Irish Prince…

Margaret Madigan I love fairy tale inspired stories, too, especially if they’re written with unexpected twists and turns.

Wren Michaels That is a funny story, Marissa. I was bit down in the dumps about my writing career. A friend of mine told me about the anthology and convinced me to do the short story for it. And Evernight accepted it. So as a result my pen name Wren Michaels was born.

A.b. Funkhauser Pen names are freeing?

Wren Michaels After that the same friend, Evie Knight, who is a magnificent author, dared me to try writing a fairytale for Evernight’s Naughty Fairytale line and Rose and Marcus were born.

Wren Michaels Lol well if self-induced schizophrenia is freeing, then yes. Sometimes it is a little chaotic being two people, but I’m certainly having fun with these stories. So there could be more.

A.b. Funkhauser Lol. Out of chaos comes order and ART.

Marissa Campbell There is a strong romantic element running through your stories! So if your sweetheart wanted to sweep you off your feet, what would he have to do?

Wren Michaels Well my hubby convinced me to move from Wisconsin to Texas with a kiss. So um either I’m easy or he’s a spectacular kisser.

Margaret Madigan Or both.

Margaret Madigan *snort*

Dawna Awe!!!

A.b. Funkhauser Hee hee. I can relate. I almost followed my husband to Thunder Bay–it’s as brutal as it sounds! Ah, pheromones.

Alison Lucky you.

Wren Michaels I think at heart every woman just wants a man/woman to make them feel special. Love is the most powerful thing on earth. It is the cause of war, celebration, and life itself.

Monique There’s a story there, Wren.

Wren Michaels All of my heroes are based in part on my hubby.

Dawna That’s true, Wren.

Marissa Campbell What about your heroines … is there some of you in there? What do you admire in them?

Wren Michaels I think I make them all the things I wish I could be. They’re the parts I’m too shy to do in real life.

A.b. Funkhauser Writing them makes them your life. You’re living it. Bravo!

Marissa Campbell Thank you so much for being here, Wren Michaels! xoxo

A.b. Funkhauser Thanks Wren Michaels for sharing.

Margaret Madigan Safe travels home!

Monique Thank you for a titillating hour, Wren.

Wren Michaels Thanks for playing with me today and helping support your favorite authors make their dreams come true. Without you readers, our stories would just live in our heads, and we’d go around talking to ourselves all day. Lol

Monique I’m driving on the lawn from now on.

Wren Michaels Oh and the sequel to Unbearable comes out the end of the month, entitled BAD APPLE. Keep track on my Twitter or FB page for details.

Marissa Campbell Here’s a sneak peak at the cover reveal for BAD APPLE!

Marissa Campbell Last minute to comment before I make the draw for Wren’s books! She’s giving away a copy each of Unbearable and the Uniform Fetish Anthology!

Marissa Campbell Up first is Unbearable! Drum roll ….

Marissa Campbell Nicki you are the proud winner of Unbearable!

Wren Michaels Kermit Flail!

Marissa Campbell A.b. Funkhauser you just won a copy of Wren’s Uniform Fetish Anthology!

A.b. Funkhauser Hee Hee. I likey!

Marissa Campbell If you want more Wren! Check her out here:

https://twitter.com/AuthorWren

https://www.tsu.co/Wren_Michaels

https://wrenmichaels.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/authorwrenmichaelsW

A Writer's Musings, Avelynn

Julie Mulhern's The Deep End

March 10, 2015 Marissa Campbell Leave a comment

Did you miss AVELYNN’s Facebook Cover Reveal Party? No problem! I’m going to be posting all the wonderful author interviews here on my blog!

Sitting down with Julie Mulhern …

I’d like to official welcome to the party my first guest author, Julie Mulhern!

Julie Mulhern is a Kansas City native who grew up on a steady diet of Agatha Christie. She spends her spare time whipping up gourmet meals for her family, working out at the gym and finding new ways to keep her house spotlessly clean–and she’s got an active imagination. Truth is–she’s an expert at calling for take-out, she grumbles about walking the dog and the dust bunnies under the bed have grown into dust lions. She is a 2014 Golden Heart® Finalist. The Deep End is her first mystery and is the winner of The Sheila Award.

Heather M O’Connor Tell us about your book, Julie.

Julie Mulhern I think I need to shrink my screen! My face looks GINORMOUS.

Marissa Campbell Lol, it’s a beautiful face!

Julie Mulhern Heather, my book is a murder mystery set in 1974 at a country club.

Julie Mulhern Marissa, I can see every wrinkle.

Julie Mulhern Heather, here’s the blurb:

Swimming into the lifeless body of her husband’s mistress tends to ruin a woman’s day, but becoming a murder suspect can ruin her whole life.

It’s 1974 and Ellison Russell’s life revolves around her daughter and her art. She’s long since stopped caring about her cheating husband, Henry, and the women with whom he entertains himself. That is, until she becomes a suspect in Madeline Harper’s death. The murder forces Ellison to confront her husband’s proclivities and his crimes—kinky sex, petty cruelties and blackmail.

As the body count approaches par on the seventh hole, Ellison knows she has to catch a killer. But with an interfering mother, an adoring father, a teenage daughter, and a cadre of well-meaning friends demanding her attention, can Ellison find the killer before he finds her?

Marissa Campbell Julie’s book!

Julie Mulhern Don’t you love my cover? I can say that because I had nothing to do with its design…. sending Henery Press all sorts of love!

Marissa Campbell We are knee deep in snow here, Julie. That cover looks wonderful!

Heather M O’Connor Sounds fabulous! The Deep End is a great title. Such depth.

Julie Mulhern Inspired by the deep end of a pool…

Marissa Campbell How so?

Heather M O’Connor And getting in out of her depth. I love the double and triple entendre.

Julie Mulhern My heroine dives into a pool and swims into a body.

Julie Mulhern Heather. I love it when people get that!

Heather M O’Connor And not just any body… anybody…

Julie Mulhern Nope – the one body guaranteed to make her a murder suspect!

Margaret Madigan I love that it’s a cozy-ish/amateur sleuth mystery with some edge to it. And Ellison is fabulous.

Marissa Campbell I love her name too! Where does the name come from?

Julie Mulhern She might be the tiniest bit snarky, Margaret – nothing like me at all.

Margaret Madigan *snort* Whatever you say, Julie.

Julie Mulhern Marissa, I’ve known several Ellison’s in my life, all belonged to country clubs.

Marissa Campbell So, your heroine, Ellison … is she like you? What’s different? What do you admire in her?

Alison I love the cover. Sounds like a great read.

Julie Mulhern Ellison and I might share a certain level of SNARK but our lives are different.

Julie Mulhern First off, my husband does NOT frequent sex clubs….

Marissa Campbell A fact, you are probably thankful for.

Margaret Madigan Julie, I totally wanted to toss out some snark of my own there, but I held my tongue. You’re welcome.

Marissa Campbell What inspired you to write the book? Do you like reading mysteries?

Julie Mulhern Second, I’ve never run over a body with my car – hit someone, yes – actually put tire tracks on their shirt, no.

Marissa Campbell There’s a story in that! What happened?

Julie Mulhern I was only sixteen and not the best driver…he was mowing a lawn…

Margaret Madigan You were driving on the lawn?

Marissa Campbell Car on the road … man on his grass … continue!

Julie Mulhern Kid in the gutter starting the lawn mower…the kid walked away. My parents replaced the lawn mower.

Marissa Campbell Oh dear. Glad everyone was okay!

Julie Mulhern I spent the next month sitting in my room.

Monique Nadeau Massabki “The Deep End” sounds intriguing (and I will be getting my very own copy), but even I want to read the story you (should) will write about running over Lawn Mower Kid.

Julie Mulhern Monique just join us for a holiday dinner – it gets dredged up every year.

Marissa Campbell lol

Monique Nadeau Massabki All the good stories do.

Marissa Campbell What draws you to mysteries, Julie?

Julie Mulhern The story gets funnier every year – just ask my husband. He’s heard it 20+ times now.

Julie Mulhern Marissa, haven’t you ever wanted to kill someone?

Margaret Madigan Oh wow. Scary answer, Julie.

Julie Mulhern Bwahahahaha

Margaret Madigan Remind me to stay on your good side.

Monique Nadeau Massabki Note to self…No negative reviews for Julie Mulhern.

Julie Mulhern I love mysteries for the puzzles. I love writing them because I can seriously torture people I never liked.

Rachael Stapleton Killing on paper is the best form. I do all my murdering between this pages as well. This book looks awesome, Julie!

Margaret Madigan She might hunt you down and run over you while you’re mowing your lawn. hehe.

Julie Mulhern Thanks, Rachael!

Monique Nadeau Massabki All joking aside, that was probably the best answer to that question. And I’ll take the plunge and admit ‘Yes. Every day. Yes.’

Julie Mulhern I can drive to N.D., Margeret. Beware!

Rachael Stapleton I was going to say between the sheets but I knew Marissa would take it somewhere else.

Julie Mulhern You gotta watch out for Marissa.

Margaret Madigan She comes across as all sweet and innocent, but she’s not.

Alison Yes, definitely have to watch out for Marissa.

Heather M O’Connor Starting to write my first mystery soon. Any tips you’d like to share?

Monique Nadeau Massabki Do you have another victim lined up for another novel, Julie?

Julie Mulhern Hmmm, Heather. Tips? I work backward. I know who did it and why and then I start writing.

Monique Nadeau Massabki And please don’t pick me.

Marissa Campbell lol

Julie Mulhern Monique, my second book releases in October and poor Ellison finds a body under the stands during a high school football game.

Margaret Madigan Bahahaha! Funny, Monique.

Dale Long Julie, that’s the same reason. I write horror. Plus, there is that thrill of having no boundaries, of writing on the edge. Agatha Christie was one of my favourites and inspirations. You’re a great cheerleader on. #1lineWed.

Heather M O’Connor What was the hardest part of writing the book?

Julie Mulhern Still working on the third book – I’m thinking poison? I’d like to title it, Clouds in My Coffee….anyone up for another ear worm?

Heather M O’Connor Ooh! I like that! Clouds in my Coffee–poison is such a great way to kill someone.

Julie Mulhern Heather, the hardest part for me is the middle, when I hate it and there’s a bright shiny idea waiting to be written. The key is to ignore the idea and finish the damn book.

Heather M O’Connor “What’s your poison?” LOL

Heather M O’Connor Oh, I am right with you on that! Messy, muddy, muddy middles.

Julie Mulhern I haven’t decided. I’d better hope no one poisons my husband because my recent internet searches would land me in jail.

Marissa Campbell I hate middles!

Heather M O’Connor I have a file on my desktop called “How to slit a throat”

A.b. Funkhauser I love middles. They get me into so much trouble. Usually, a side character starts a hijack.

Cryssa Bazos Hi, Julie. Nice to see you on FB instead of just Twitter. Just reading the part where you hit someone at 16. This is one of my fears when I’m backing out with my car.

A.b. Funkhauser I don’t recommend throat slitting. Impossible to remove blood traces.

A.b. Funkhauser Julie. Tell us a secret.

Heather M O’Connor It came from a great Facebook discussion with about a dozen other writers. We were brainstorming and problem-solving for someone. Had to save it. It was invaluable research and less messy than the firsthand kind. But I had to add the title of the book to the file name. I didn’t want any hard feelings or misunderstandings.

Julie Mulhern Cryssa – me too! Aside from the neighborhood kid – yes, he lived down the street – I’ve managed to avoid hitting humans.

Julie Mulhern A secret, A.b. I have no secrets. Not one. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Margaret Madigan Besides, if you told it then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore.

A.b. Funkhauser But you write fiction, so nothing you say is nonfiction.

Julie Mulhern A.b. since we’re talking murder, my mind goes immediately to pretty little liars…. DO YOU HAVE A SECRET?

A.b. Funkhauser Dozens!

Julie Mulhern Spill…

A.b. Funkhauser I, too, write fiction and am therefore incapable of telling the truth.

A.b. Funkhauser When I was young, someone tried to recruit me as a professional escort.

A.b. Funkhauser As opposed to an unprofessional escort.

Julie Mulhern Actually – I think writers are better at telling the truth than anyone…big truths, universal truths.

Heather M O’Connor And big lies, universal lies, too.

A.b. Funkhauser Lies are great. They mislead the audience and frame the set up for the BIG SURPRISE.

Marissa Campbell I’d like to thank Julie for coming out to play!

A.b. Funkhauser Thanks, Julie!

Monique Nadeau Massabki We had a great time, too, Julie. Thank you for letting us into your world (and not killing us…yet).

Julie Mulhern Thanks, everyone, for stopping by. This has been great fun!

Marissa Campbell She is giving away an ebook of The Deep End!

Marissa Campbell Drum roll …..

Marissa Campbell Alison YOU’RE A WINNER!

Margaret Madigan Thanks for tolerating us, Julie! Congrats Alison!

Alison Thanks that is so exciting. Yay me and thanks, Julie.

Nicki These bios sound so interesting, now I feel my life is boring, lol. Maybe I should write a book.

Marissa Campbell Nicki Lou your life would make a great book! Happily ever after! xoxo

Laura Beautiful and Smart! How lucky can an author get? I have always wanted to write a book, but lack the talent to make it happen. Congratulations, Julie!

Nicki Lol thanks Marissa. Yeah a bit of everything. Can’t be published until I die.

Nicki Beautiful and smart!

Marissa Campbell Want more Julie? Find more about her here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/juliekmulhern?ref=hl

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JulieKMulhern

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8573907.Julie_Mulhern

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/juliemulhern/

Website: www.juliemulhern.com

A Writer's Musings

Counting Down with Author Rachael Stapleton

March 4, 2015 Marissa Campbell Leave a comment

As you know, I am having a Cover Reveal Countdown Party on Facebook this Sunday, March 8th, 2015 for my debut historical fiction AVELYNN. I’ve invited lots of wonderful friends to join me. They will be answering questions and giving away free books! The fun starts at 12:00pm EST and goes all day until 8:00pm!

Pop in to the party between 5:00pm – 6:00pm EST and meet Author Racheal Stapleton!

The Temple of Indra Series

Book One: The Temple of Indra’s Jewel

Book Two: Curse of the Purple Delhi Sapphire

Rachael Stapleton

Genre: Mystery, Adventure, Time Travel Romance

Series Description: As a librarian, Sophia Marcil loved reading, especially books about ancient curses and reincarnation, but she never imagined the legend of the Purple Delhi Sapphire was true until she inherited her Great Grandmother’s ring and was transported back to a past life. Now she knows that not only is reincarnation real, but so is the madman chasing her through time.

Book One Trailer: http://goo.gl/6vtX2r

Book Two Trailer: http://youtu.be/VCeG9eA09Fg

About the Author: Rachel Stapleton spent her youth cultivating a vivid imagination inside the book lined walls of an old Victorian library where she consumed everything from mystery to biography, creating magical worlds, hidden elevators, and secret spiral staircases. At sixteen, she penned a column for the local newspaper and in 2006, wrote her first book featuring an adventurous librarian. She now lives in a Second Empire Victorian with her husband and two children in Ontario and enjoys writing in the comforts of aged wood and arched dormers. She is the author of The Temple of Indra’s Jewel, Curse of the Purple Delhi Sapphire and is currently working on the third and most likely final book in the Temple of Indra series.

Send Rachael some love! Subscribe to her website and follow her on social media.

www.RachaelStapleton.com

http://RachaelStapleton.blogspot.ca/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Rachael-Stapleton/137831156290570

https://twitter.com/RaquelleJaxson

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7271862.Rachael_Stapleton

http://www.amazon.com/Rachael-Stapleton/e/B00IE9W804

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+RachaelStapleton/posts

A Writer's Musings

Bullying Madonna

February 27, 2015 Marissa Campbell 2 Comments

Below is an article I wrote for Madonna Tribe a few years ago when Madonna preformed at the Halftime show during the Super Bowl. Before we dive into the past, however, let’s flash forward to 2015 and the Brit awards. During the live performance of her song “Living for Love” Madonna experienced a terrible wardrobe malfunction that sent her careening backwards down three stairs. She landed hard. She was dazed, lost her mike, and for a moment no one breathed. Then she got back up and continued the song.

Instead of people being inspired, or giving her at least a little credit for being a kick-ass performer with a no-fail attitude, people took to twitter and social media in droves to attack her. And where did they start? Her age. At 56, apparently life is over. How dare she still show off her phenomenal body. How dare she still strut her considerable stuff on stage like a twenty year old. ‘Granny’s fallen and can’t get up.’ was a typical sentiment.

A friend of mine recently asked for my opinion on bullying. Our children’s school advocates Pink Shirt Day to encourage students to rise up and speak out against bullying. Yet the backlash surrounding Madonna’s fall was not coming from elementary school kids, rather it was being perpetuated by adults.

We teach by example, and we need to practice what we preach. Walk the talk. It’s one thing to wear a pink shirt and speak to our children about the negative impacts of bullying and then criticize a woman we see walking past us for her choice of clothing, or hair style, or make-up. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Pink Shirt Day is to bullying as Valentine’s Day is to love. It’s a nice reminder, but we should be practicing these values on a daily basis.

When I’m 56, I’m still going to put myself out there. I’m going to dance like no one’s watching and sing as loud as I can in the car at red lights. I’m not going to stop living because others feel I’m acting inappropriately for my age. Age is a mindset, and in my mind, I’m never getting old. 🙂 xo

Madonna. One word conjures up so many images, opinions, and judgments. When you add two more: Halftime Show, the world goes crazy! Let me be clear right up front, I love Madonna: always have, always will. But let me tell you why she inspires me as it pertains to living a life of happiness and fulfillment.

When we join this wonderful life experience, from the moment we are conceived to the moment we take our last breaths, we are subjected to everyone else’s opinions, judgements, biases, and prejudices. The trick is to not let those beliefs influence us. When we are young this is almost impossible. We are heavily influenced by our parents, our siblings, our friends, the media, our society, our teachers, our government and our entire global framework. They send us a plethora of messages; we filter some, but absorb others thus creating an image, an idea about ourselves—who we are and how we fit into the world around us.

We tend to cling to that constructed image of ourselves because when we step outside other people’s expectations and opinions we run the risk of being rejected. Many of us will continue believing something, or saying or doing things that other’s want to hear or see, just to remain within their comfortable circle of influence. We do this out of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment.

What type of clothes do you wear? What type of house do you want? What type of job is acceptable? Simple questions, but deep inside our choices are typically influenced by others. As a teenager, if you wore different clothes from your friends would your peer group ridicule you, or oust you? If all your friends have big expensive houses with fashionable furnishings, would you buy a smaller home that you could actually afford and place meagre belongings in it? Would you worry about inviting your ‘better off’ friends over for coffee? Do you want to be an artist, a singer, a dancer, a writer, but feel you need to get that executive position to prove to everyone you’ve made it? It’s rare we think this deeply about the motivation behind our actions and decisions. But what is really motivating those choices is fear. When we push against the current, when we stand up for what we want and what makes us truly happy, we risk rubbing those around us the wrong way. We risk censure or possible exile from our comfortable groups, from our comfortable lives.

Enter Madonna. I am quite confident Madonna has fears. And I am sure society’s condemnation of her actions on occasion has smarted considerably. But it has never stopped her from doing what she wants to do. It has never stopped her from being who she really is. She has passion, she has vitality—and she has guts. Guts to step outside of society’s comfort zone, guts to push against other people’s opinions and judgments. She may have fears, but she doesn’t let them stop her.

A lot of the backlash I read about her performance at the Super Bowl Halftime Show stemmed around her age. At fifty-three apparently she needs to pack it all in and stop performing. Stop doing something she loves, stop engaging in something that invigorates and enlivens her. I hope at one hundred years old none of us stop doing what it is we enjoy—what it is we genuinely love.

Don’t let fear of rejection stop you dead in your tracks. Don’t let fear detract from what you want to do in life. Don’t let it influence who you want to be. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, removed from everyone else’s expectations and judgments. Get out there on your own personal stage and give this life experience the best damn show on earth: YOU! J

In gratitude,

Marissa

A Writer's Musings

Top Ten Ways to Test a Writer's Patience (or How to Drive a Writer Crazy)

February 20, 2015 Marissa Campbell Leave a comment

This is part of an entertaining post that I wrote for Relentless Writers, a blog I contribute to monthly. To read the full article click here. 🙂

One of these things does not belong:

I am impatient
I am an extrovert
I require immediate gratification
I am an author

It is possible, given the traits listed above, that I couldn’t have picked a more ill-fitted career for myself than writing. In a previous post, it was duly noted that the publication process takes time, in fact, everything in the world of a writer takes time—lots and lots of time—and this got me thinking.

Here then, without further ado, are the:

Top Ten Ways to Test a Writer’s Patience

Or How to Drive a Writer Crazy

1. The WIP

Writing takes forever!

2. Blog Posts

Waiting for someone to read your blog.

3. Twitter

Watching your feed for retweets and replies.

4. Facebook

Why doesn’t anyone share?

Want to know steps 5 – 10 (plus a bonus)

click here and pop over to Relentless Writers to read the full post!

In gratitude,

Marissa

A Writer's Musings

In Defence of Fifty Shades and Dragons

February 16, 2015 Marissa Campbell Leave a comment

According to Box Office Mojo, Fifty Shades of Grey grossed $239,670,000 worldwide during its opening weekend. The book itself has sold over 100,000,000 copies worldwide. There are many who have a hard time understanding this phenomenon, believing it a fluke—chalking it up to the power and momentum of hype and suggestion. For fans and devotees of E.L. James, the appeal is obvious, simple. From the other side of the fence, however, there is nothing simple about it. Most of the negative and hostile reviews are written by people who have not seen the film or read the book, however, many have done both and were horrified by what they read and saw. They interpret the messages in the book as reprehensible: rape, forced seduction, restraint, control, manipulation, abuse. Fans beg to differ.

Years ago, I moved to a new city. I didn’t know anyone and after several months, I became lonely and depressed. I used to walk my son to school every morning, and there was always a group of women standing around and chatting long after the bell had rung. I longed to join them. Then the day arrived when they invited me over. It felt like I had been given a glass of crisp spring water after stumbling through a barren, arid desert. At first, I was a little shy and uncertain, but after several mornings, I began to loosen up, laughing and chatting animatedly, enjoying the friendly camaraderie. That is until I told a joke.

One of the women regaled the group with a joke she had heard. It was cute and witty, and I chuckled along with everyone else. I offered up one of my own, one I had recently heard on a radio station. It was provocative, sexy, and a little dirty (seriously, it was really, really, funny). Except, when I delivered the punchline, I was the only one laughing. I was awarded a few polite smiles, and the conversation was diverted. That was a hard limit. Sex was off the table.

I went home that morning in a daze. I wanted desperately to fit in, and given the strict guidelines of the group, I adjusted my behaviour accordingly. I closed off a really fun, witty, playful side of myself in order to toe the line of respectable conservatism.

A part of me died that day.

Let’s flash forward a few years. I taught yoga, and I co-wrote an inspirational book called Life: Living in Fulfillment Every Day. I blogged about finding balance, about managing expectations, about finding the beauty and joy in our every moment. In my actions and thoughts, I tried to embody peace and serenity. I strove for balance and attempted to reduce stress in my life. There was an image I was expected to project, and at first, I embraced it willingly, but after a few years, I found myself wanting more. I was missing something. Part of me was still shut off. I was still toeing that line.

Let’s catch up with the present. In addition to Life, I’ve now written a historical fiction, Avelynn, which will be released this fall through St. Martin’s Press. It’s sexy, sensual, gritty, powerful, and compelling. I’ve also written a sexy, short story: Italian Delicacy, which is very yummy. Should I have written under a pen name? Hidden this other side of me? After years of tamping down my vivacious half, I coaxed it out of hiding. I offered it flowers and chocolate, begged it to come out to play. In fact, I’ve pushed so hard against the constraints and limitations that once bound me, that I’ve externalized that journey with a tattoo.

Now, what on earth does all this have to do with Fifty Shades of Grey? Like the dragon and the OM. There are two parts of me. One is calm, the other likes to roar. One is peaceful, while one is rebellious and wild. One is mystical, the other one magical. One is powerful, one surrenders. One is dignified, and one is downright naughty. I am a kaleidoscope of colour and nuance. All women embody that brilliant tapestry. We are sexual and conservative. We can be dignified and respectable, nurturing and matronly, but we can also be playful and mischievous, hot and wild.

Women have a rich internal world and a vibrant external one. But too often, we are expected to live outwardly in a completely opposite fashion from who we really are deep down inside. Let me give you another example. Several years ago, I went out with my husband on a date. After months of spit up and diapers, I wanted to dress up—I wanted to feel sexy again. As I was leaving, kissing my children good-bye, my mother-in-law asked me if I was really going to wear that out. She was referring to a lovely blouse that showed off some considerable breastfeeding cleavage. She said this in front of my eldest. At the time, I was too dumbstruck to speak. It wasn’t until later that I explained to my son that I was a mom, but also a woman, and it was okay to be both.

I was done with shutting down that vibrant part of myself. The world needed to accept all of me. Every part, whether that fit into their expectations or solicited their judgments and disapproval. I was tired of being flat and colourless. I needed to be me. E.L. James fans get this. And they want to be given permission to enjoy the movie without condemnation and censure.

In my opinion, the appeal of Fifty Shades of Grey rests on the broad shoulders of female sexual fantasies. The part of us that we don’t always show to the world, the part that ignites a spark of desire and arousal that might not seem politically or socially acceptable—the dragon.

Studies show 30 – 60% of women have rape fantasies. For a couple interesting articles discussing these findings, feel free to investigate here and here.

To fans, the movie and books are not extolling abuse, but rather are condoning women’s fantasies, bringing to the screen a fantasy that upwards of 60% of women find arousing.

Anne Rice defended women’s fantasies in a recent Facebook post: She wrote: “Lecturing women on their fantasies, telling them NOT to like “Fifty Shades” because it includes abuse is just as bad, in my opinion, as telling women that “nice girls” don’t imagine being kissed, loved, touched, ravaged, swept off their feet. “Nice girls” can imagine anything they want.”

For a unique perspective. Huffington Post recently broke down another study by a team of researchers from the University of North Texas and the University of Notre Dame.

According to the article, there are two schools of thought as to why so many women get aroused by behaviour that the detractors of Fifty Shades of Grey consider deplorable. One is the ‘sexual blame avoidance’ theory, the other, newer, more enlightened theory is an ‘openness to sexual experience.’

The sexual blame avoidance theory proposes that women fantasize about being controlled and forced into having sex because they are unable to own their sexuality and instead worry about how society will perceive them. Being forced into and ultimately enjoying sex because of their submission removes personal responsibility—they couldn’t help themselves, it wasn’t their fault.

The women who fell under the new classification, described themselves as being open to sexual experience and didn’t feel a need to hide or repress their sexuality. They had high self-esteem and while enjoying the idea of being forced into sexual situations similar to what is depicted in Fifty Shades of Grey, they were also just as likely to fantasize about overpowering and forcing a man to surrender sexually against his will.

Fantasies are a natural and very normal part of our sexual lives, for both men and women, and we do ourselves a great disservice when we disavow that part of ourselves. A part of me died the day I hid the sexual, fun, flirty side of my personality. Rather than tamping down the gains we’ve made as women to express ourselves, (thank you, Madonna) to own our sexuality, to admit freely that we enjoy and think about sex as much as men do, we need to embrace all aspects of who we are. We are a dichotomy, and one aspect is not better than the other, we are both, we are all. We can stand against all forms of violence and abuse, whether it be against women, men, children or animals. We can fight injustice and ignorance. But we can also have a rich and varied fantasy life. We can be both the dragon and the OM.

In gratitude,

Marissa xo

A Writer's Musings, I

Italian Delicacy

February 14, 2015 Marissa Campbell Leave a comment

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

In the spirit of free love and delicious romance, I am giving away a free copy of my sexy short: Italian Delicacy, to anyone who signs up for my author newsletter!

Click on the link in the top right corner of the webpage, and I’ll send you an exclusive copy!

Happy reading! xo

In gratitude,

Marissa

A Writer's Musings, O

Stars, Garage Doors, and Open Minds.

February 13, 2015 Marissa Campbell Leave a comment

Originally published Friday February, 6th 2015 in the wonderful Brooklin Town Crier, I’ve posted it here, because, well, not everyone lives in Brooklin. 😀 xo

Happy Valentine’s Day Brooklin! (And everyone else reading this no matter where you live! ;).

A time of love, romance, roses, and chocolates, relationships bloom in the frigid temperatures of a Canadian winter, but what makes a relationship? How do we define it? For the sake of this conversation, my good friend Webster defines relationship as: a romantic or sexual friendship between two people. That casts a wide net to include parameters such as: same sex, married, common law, dating, casual, and open. Is one type of relationship better than the other? Is one method right, making the other wrong: married vs. common law, dating vs casual, open vs monogamous? Every couple must evaluate their own relationship and define it in a way that suits their needs and desires, not by the expectations and/or judgements of others. I like to think we live in a pretty open-minded community. But how open are we?

To play devil’s advocate, I watched a fascinating panel discussion yesterday. The video, recorded at the French Institute Alliance Francaise, featured Esther Perel and Dan Savage.

The talk was entitled Infidelity: The Truth About Love, Lust, and Loyalty, and as always when Perel is involved, it made me question society’s beliefs about the institution of marriage. Depending on culture, upbringing, and personal experience, we all come into marriage with a list of preconceived notions, one of which involves a moral aversion to adultery. In fact a Gallop pole cited in the discussion discovered that 91% of Americans felt that cheating was the most morally reprehensible act out of a list of options that included, among others, suicide, polygamy, and cloning.

There’s a good reason for this. Infidelity hurts. Divorce rates are soaring, and just as many women as men are likely to cheat. Today’s relationships place an awful lot of expectations on our partners. Not only are we looking for the ‘other’ to complete our need for acceptance, validation, love, safety, and comfort, we want variety, adventure, fun, and passion to boot. A dichotomy that Perel feels is very difficult to balance. So what is a couple to do?

Apparently, we live in the swingers’ capital of Canada, though I’ve yet to see any actual proof of this. There are wonderful rumours that if a star is placed somewhere on the outside of a home, it means swingers live there, or if that fails, one can always examine the garage door, for if it sits half open, you better guard your keys because the swingers are open for business.

Savage described his relationship with his husband Terry as ‘monogamish,’ saying that they were more monogamist than not, but they allowed for freedom of exploration within the relationship. Savage believes that for many, marriage is doomed to fail if there is a binding, clad in stone, no wandering eyes or other body parts policy. He believes humans are not monogamist by nature and feels marriage is often a time bomb waiting to detonate. In fact, he encourages many of his readers (he has a syndicated column where he gives poignant and blunt sex and relationship advice) to cheat, or become open to a polyamorous relationship, acts which he believes can actually strengthen and save a marriage.

In her book, Mating in Captivity, Perel titillates with the concept of ‘inviting the third’, whether that third person is welcome within the bedroom or a part of the couple’s outside interests and pursuits. She feels it can add an element of the erotic and spark renewed passion in couples who may be experiencing the strain and lack of mojo often found in long-term, committed relationships.

Savage was quick to point out that commitment does not necessarily mean monogamy, and that often, having outside sexual interests is what keeps a couple together, actually supporting lasting commitment. He believes all people want to sleep with other people, some of us just don’t want to admit it, and trying to ignore the elephant in the room only leads to deception and cheating.

Emotional monogamy and sexual exclusivity are apparently not the same thing. One can be emotionally monogamous with their partner, keeping all the love, security, comfort, and joys of raising a family, and building a life together within their committed core relationship, yet remain free sexually to explore eroticism outside the typical boundaries and notions of a traditional marriage.

What do you think? Is it time to renegotiate the contract, open the garage, and introduce a little monogamish into our lives? 😀

In gratitude,

Marissa

A, A Writer's Musings

Kicking Anxiety to the Curb

January 21, 2015 Marissa Campbell 2 Comments

You may not know this, but for almost a decade, I suffered from debilitating panic attacks. I didn’t know what they were at the time and every few months, I would find myself in a doctor’s office or emergency department with a plethora of reports to my name: blood work, CAT scans, MRI’s, ultrasounds, x-rays, EEGs, and EKGs. No one could figure out what was wrong, and never for one minute did I think my mind could be making me so violently ill.

It took a great deal of investigating and personal research about my symptoms to begin to put the pieces of the puzzle together. After seven years of suffering and fearing the next attack, I finally knew what was going on. I was experiencing repetitive panic attacks. Wave after wave after wave of attacks that would last two weeks at a time, keeping me bed ridden with nausea, dizziness, pain, migraines, and even a low grade fever. My mind had taken over my body and was controlling it like a helpless marionette. But knowledge is power. Once I learned what was happening, I was determined to make it stop, determined to get my life and my body back under conscious control.

One of those interventions involved recognizing panic and anxiety the moment it started. I gave my anxiety a name: Bob. I got very good at sensing the warning signs, the little indications that Bob was going to pay me a visit, and when that happened, I would dance.

My heart would race, my hands would turn clammy, and the surging wave of panic would start to build, but instead of letting it take over, I seized the reins and turned on my stereo. I cranked up the bass and danced and jumped, turned and twirled until Bob slunk back to his hiding place.

Bob doesn’t come around much anymore. But there are occasions where I still feel anxious. Speaking in front of groups is one of them.

Last night I had to get up in front of a lovely supportive group of writers and read an excerpt from my new novel Avelynn. I’m getting better at calming the nerves, but each time I get up behind a podium, I’m reminded how much I need to keep practicing. It’s like building a muscle at the gym. The more I use it, the stronger it gets.

I talk all the time in my yoga classes. I’ll ramble on about life, wellbeing, the chakras, philosophy, or even regale the class with amusing antidotes and jokes to lighten the mood during a tough set of poses. I don’t get nervous, and I can talk for hours.

Years ago I was involved in local theatre, once even delivering a monologue twenty-six, single-spaced, typed pages long. It was a feat of memorization and iron clad balls. But I did it, in front of a room full of strangers and discriminating judges. I preformed on stage in several plays, never once feeling nervous or worried about missing a line. But then out of nowhere something changed. I blame hormones.

I had just given birth to my third beautiful son when I started having terrifying dreams of getting up on stage and forgetting my lines. Despite the fact this had never before happened, the fear seeped into my consciousness, and I had to quit the theatre. Flash forward several years, and too many panic attacks to count, and getting up to talk in front of even one or two people became challenging.

I was determined to get my anxiety under control and enrolled in Toastmasters, a wonderfully supportive group that encourages you to step out of your comfort zone and lasso fear for good. I learned a lot during my time in the group. The most important? Practice makes perfect and reading out loud, in front of others, over and over again slowly desensitizes you to the fear.

I still get nervous reading, but no one else seems to notice. My hands still tremor a little, my knees still quake, but my voice is strong and confident. My relationship with public speaking is now healthy. It won’t be long before I can step back onto that stage as if it’s just another day in the yoga studio. 🙂 xo

In gratitude,

Marissa

A Writer's Musings

Show vs Tell

December 28, 2014 Marissa Campbell Leave a comment

He was Old and Thin writing by Marissa Campbell

He sat in the rocker. Wooden and hard, the chair had a cushion of square fabric flattened by years of use. A brown and yellow afghan spilled over one corner. The fireplace crackled.

The wool cardigan tugged at his shoulders, the weight dragging down his stooped frame. His hand, the skin paper thin, freckled with age spots, and tinted blue with veins, reached into a trouser pocket and withdrew a yellowed handkerchief.

A barking cough stole his breath, and his eyes watered. He dabbed at the tears then pushed his thick glasses higher. They edged back down the sharp slant of his nose.

His gazed travelled to the frost covered window, the lead glass dimpled and thick. No warmth touched his eyes, only a passive disinterest. His mind a hopeless blank as he searched for some lost memory, something to tie him to this place.

This was a writing prompt from a wonderful workshop I took called Write to Win! presented by Ruth Walker & Dorothea Helms. I invite you to check out their website: http://writescape.ca/writescape/workshops-2/write-to-win/

The concept of the prompt was to ‘show’ us a character—as opposed to ‘telling’ us. Rather than write: ‘he was old and thin,’ create an image in the reader’s mind. I hope you see him as clearly as I do. xo

In gratitude,

Marissa xo